I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness and the message resonates deeply with me. I’ve recently moved to a new place and have been establishing a new rhythm–friends, jobs, activities. I have always felt like I don’t fit the mold of having a set group of friends; I usually never fit a set group, but rather seek out individuals from different groups. I love the breadth of interests, experiences, personal backgrounds, and opinions this generates among those I talk and spend time with.
This minimizes gossip, leaving others out, and everything else that comes with a friend group, it also makes it harder to hold big group gatherings and feel that sense of belonging we all crave. I had this in high school. My group of girlfriends; we would sit together at lunch, have sleepovers, get ready for dances together…I cherish those memories. The memories I don’t cherish include the snide remarks or petty fights that inevitably come with an intertwined group of five people, let alone five tween girls.
Brown speaks to the mixed emotions of these friendships beautifully and encourages us all to create our own personal sense of belonging. We fit in with ourselves and love ourselves just as we are. No matter what happens–a move, a falling out, a hardship–we have our sense of grounding in numerous places with numerous perspectives.
Beyond friendships, the Maya Angelou quote:
captures a feeling I’ve been unable to pinpoint since leaving Home in Nashville for college (in Atlanta, GA). I spent summers in a range of places–Alpharetta, GA, Detroit, and the UK–and felt that certainty of where I belong and fit wane. Since moving to the Bay Area six months ago, that certainty of where I belong has grown even fuzzier. So perhaps the answer lies in Angelou’s words: I “belong no place–[I] belong every place–no place at all.”
I’m not one for New Years resolutions, but if anything I want to become even stronger in braving the wilderness.