I am fairly risk-averse, but Seelig does a great job of sharing the value of certain types of risk. Putting yourself out there, or risking your pride, is a scary proposition, but it has immense pay-off. While you may not always get lucky, you’ll likely still learn something.
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How do you take risks? Do you take a chance and talk to strangers?
My biggest lesson in post-grad life: you have to nourish relationships–and it’s not always easy. I’ve divided my friendships into distinct categories that have helped me think about friendship and moving on in the “real world.”
There are friends who always check in or call me regularly, and I reach out to them an equal amount. These are what I call my natural “give and take” friendships. Occasionally, these fall out of balance during a particularly busy time; a move across the country, a newfound romance, or the holidays–but all in all, steady, easy back and forth. These are few and far between!
Another category of friendship is one that is highly prioritized and requires scheduling to maintain. I have to schedule time with some of these people weeks out, or we likely will never talk. It’s not because one of us doesn’t care–our schedules are simply different or we are in different time zones. For example, one works odd hours in Eastern time and his weekends don’t always line up with the regular work week.
The third category are my “fly by” friends. These are people who I don’t talk to often, and it’s typically brief when we do talk, but they provide support, meaning, and true friendship even in those short interactions. I love these friendships dearly because they exemplify how small interactions can feel so profound and connecting.
There are some people that I’ve learned to let go. Some friends were wonderful friends during the time and place of college. People I grabbed a meal with, went to a party with, or studied for a class with–these are the people who were convenient friends. Still true friends, but not the people I would go pick out of a crowd. I often miss these people and shoot them a text or quick call, but I don’t think much of it. It’s painful sometimes, but it’s a necessary part of moving forward.
Looking back, there are very few friends who I’ve totally lost touch with. Even in college, I was well aware of the importance of maintaining relationships; I had lunch plans with a different person everyday to keep up with the people who mattered to me. I definitely gave my mother to thank for teaching me this lesson early on; she was nearly always on the phone with her friends (scattered all over the country) and taught me the value of friendship from an early age.
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Have you kept up with your friends? Do your friendship categories look like mine?
This talk reminds me of one of my favorite college professors; this professor was so incredibly passionate about the concept of play. He emphasized the value of work that feels like play, but he also embodied what it means to live a playful life. He shows excitement, takes risks, and certainly enjoys the outdoors. I see him as a model of how to live playfully and this talk only emphasized the the importance of play for holistic wellbeing.
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How do you play?
I’m not talking about a bubbly personality, I’m talking about a bubbly beverage! It’s already late summer, which means it’s time for another Sparkling Detox–a yearly event where we drink only Gerolsteiner Sparkling Mineral Water in place of other beverages. I would have a hard time cutting out my morning cup of tea if I tried this alone, but there’s an awesome community of support.
My name is Hannah and I’m a tea addict; I drink 3-5 cups of caffeinated tea each day, and I am completely dependent on that caffeine. It makes my life more complicated…if I haven’t had enough caffeine, I get a raging headache that only caffeine can fix. Caffeine is a drug, and if you are dependent on it, you experience symptoms of withdrawal. Crazy right? While I think this is a a generally harmless vice, it still frustrates me.
I am excited to simplify my life again and take a short hiatus from tea to see how I cope with weaning myself off caffeine and drinking a more simple, hydrating drink—Gerolsteiner Sparkling Mineral Water. I will keep my Excedrin migraine handy in case of emergency, but I hope it won’t be necessary.
My schedule has been changing with my new job—I wake up a bit earlier and need to go to bed much earlier than I have been. Caffeine messes with our body’s natural energy levels, which can be helpful, but might be part of my trouble with falling asleep.
I felt dehydrated for a few days while traveling in Peru–you have to drink bottled water and bathrooms aren’t always available so my liquid intake was definitely less than usual. You can really feel a difference–I had more headaches, less energy, more muscle fatigue, and didn’t feel quite like myself. One morning, I even felt dizzy after getting up–and I’m fairly certain it’s because I was not drinking enough.
I think some people live their whole lives this way and don’t know; it’s not always easy to know if you’re well hydrated. When I played sports, my coach told me I should have to go to the bathroom every hour (when running outside on a hot summer day). Now that seems excessive, but if I don’t leave my desk all morning I take it as a sign that I’m skimping on my water so I make sure to be more mindful. Getting up often, even if for a short walk to the bathroom, is also so important for our health! Research shows that getting up for five minutes every hour can have a positive effect for those of us stuck at a desk all day–another reason to drink more and go on more bathroom breaks. With Gerolsteiner Sparkling Mineral Water, it will be easy to keep tabs on how much I’m drinking, and it will be much easier because we all know bubbles are just more fun! Plus, it packs a punch of nutrition with Calcium and Magnesium. Calcium is crucial for strong bones and Magnesium supports muscle and nerve function.
I’ll keep you updated on my journey to reduce caffeine, simplify my life, and feel more hydrated! Want to join me in the Sparkling Detox? Join the challenge at: https://goo.gl/LtsKQ7 (Enter code “HANNAH18”)
When you sign up, you also enter for a chance to win a free case of Gerolsteiner Sparkling Mineral Water!
I am not sure that the title quite suits this talk, but I really enjoyed hearing this story. Recently I’ve had a number of students from the college I attended reach out to me with tips and suggestions on finding the right job post-grad. It’s so hard; there is so much rejection and self-doubt. Keating does a great job laying out his journey and providing some practical tips on how to get to the career you want. I definitely agree with him on the importance of networking–not for the sake of a job, but out of genuine interest and shared connections.
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What tips would you give recent college grads?
I recently read a new article called “Killing Me Softly: Electronic communications monitoring and employee and spouse well-being” and I immediately thought of the number of people this issue impacts in the Bay Area, let alone the US at-large. In essence, the study found that the culture of an organization was more important than the actions. A culture that expects employees to check email 24/7 means more than the hours an individual actually spends checking email outside of work. This is a classic example of “spillover“, or stress that bleeds from one area of our life to another.
While this is a mild stressor, I think it is one more example of chronic stress and an inability to “turn off” our brains and simply live in the present moment without worry about the newest email alert or slack notification.
I vividly remember sitting in the car as I was about to go drive off to see Christmas lights with a friend. I was so relaxed, happy, and suddenly inbound slack messages began popping up on my phone. This was 8pm on a Sunday evening; I felt an immediate wave of frustration, but also sadness that my coworker was working on her Sunday night. I felt like I had no choice but to respond right then since she was working on a task for one of my clients and had a question. I saw there and my friend asked, “Why do you have that on your phone?”
I was dumbstruck. My response, “Everyone has it.” Yup, and would you jump off the bridge too? He just kind of looked at me, shaking his head. He did not even have his work email available on his phone. When he left work, he left work.
It’s not quite that simple at every organization. A culture like this creates such a sense of urgency and an inability to turn off. I even brought my laptop on my one real vacation of the year and responded to emails that easily could’ve waited. One of my clients even told me that I should get offline and go enjoy my trip…
Research shows that its not just the employee that suffers, but also their significant others suffer as well. Just think about the ripple effects that come from one bad workplace. Pretty crazy, right?
Luckily, I don’t have that experience at my current organization, which is a blessing. I do not take it for granted and fully enjoy my evenings and weekends free from pings of any type. And even if there is a ping, there is not an expectation that it will be answered before 9am the next business day.
I know not all of us are that lucky. So, what are some strategies to deal with a workplace with the expectation of constant communication?
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Do you feel tied to your email? What is your company culture like?
